alone

I've pushed everyone and everything away
I pushed you away and now you hate me
I pushed my best friends away and they now have the friendships I used to have with them, with each other
I pushed my anorexia away and now im trying to grab it back I just can't
I pushed my self control away and replaced it with greed
I am truely alone, and I fake a happy face and even convince myself im fine,but underneath the bullshit im actually just not ok, im not ok, im not ok at all.

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