pros and cons

PROS-
*The guy who has caused me so much grief and upset i think is finally out of my life! ive just realised that even though i dont think im worth much, that i know that i deserve better than that and tbh even when i was hooking up with him or speaking to him.. i wasnt happy and i didnt trust him so what was the point of even staying in contact. I mean i still care for him and wish him happiness,i just dont want him in my life anymore.

*I've made a new friend who is lovely jubbly and thats very exciting and new to me!

*Im starting a new college and a new job which hopefully is a better choice than staying at gh because i hated it there.

CONS-
*Im fucking huge.. i mean huge, i feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and i just want to be back to like 10kg less than i am now, i would look so much better and feel so much better but im too fucking lazy and greedy to actually lose the weight.

*I'm stuck in quite bad binge purge cycles at the moment which is embaressing for me to admit to anyone but yeah i feel quite stuck

*I dont like my part time job i have atm anymore, ive been there 2 and a half years and im just fed up of the shitty customers and to be honest i dont fit in with any of the members of staff there.. the only way to describe it is like they're all the 'popular cool kids' who are all up to date and know eachother and go out all the time etc, then theres me the 'lame dorky fat weirdo' who doesnt have a lot of friends, knows no one and doesnt really have a social life.

So im pretty stuck between all these sorts of feelings- as per usual haha.