Need to be healthier

Update

So I failed last night and ate too much then I had to purge. But, today I've re joined recovery record and I'm going to start a fresh healthy life style ( seen as though I can't restrict/loose weight :( ) wish me luck, I'll need it!

Big step

Going to make a big step tonight...

Oops

I'm becoming a bit obsessed with justin bieber :( oh well he's hot and id love to be serenaded by him

Im officially the fattest girl going

I HATE YOU

BULIMIA YOU EVIL FUCKER. I HATE YOU!
YOU MAKE ME A VILE PERSON, YOU MAKE ME LIE, YOU STEAL MY MONEY AND BASICALLY FLUSH IT DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET.
YOU MAKE ME SO EMBARESSED AND WORSE OF ALL YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME FAT.
THE FUCKING WORST THING IS THAT YOU DONT LET GO AT ALL, YOU'RE SO ADDICTIVE AND I HATE YOU. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE MY LIFE, BRING ME ANA  BACK OR EVEN BETTER NO ED WHATSOEVER.

your making me fat again, i cant deal with gaining all this weight AGAIN. last year is just repeating itself and i cant seem to stop it :'(

Merh

I'm fed up of everyone knowing my business :( its just holding me back

Tomorrow

Finished all my exams tomorrow afternoon! I should be revising for it but I'm going to sleep I'm excited about tomorrow though... I can start exercising more :D

Selfish

I'm so selfish I just think about myself and no-one else. Things I need to change.

Js jhfggg

I'm such an ugly vile disgusting fat thick dumb desperate cunt!

Not binged but not restricted, I feel kinda annoyed but kinda happy. I'm going to sleep and see hoe I feel then. Night xo

Feeling happy :)

Swam for 30 minutes :) hopefully il continue to exercise and eat healthily

New plan

Going back to priory method and having 5 little meals a day and a small piece of chocolate, plus in my supervision it'll make me revise and exercise more :p hopefully this will cure binges! Fingers crossed peeps! Xo

oh on a plus point...

i cant be arsed with lads any more, ive just accepted the fact that im going to be forever alone...
OH WELL, i can just focus on being healthier and hopefully happier when im a lighter better me!
lalalalallalalalla

Yesterday and today

Yesterday was good! i went to work and hardly ate a thing which is such a shock and im so proud of myself. Maybe im learning how to gain control at work because after this weekend ive realised how much ive let myself go and how much i need to loose at least half a stone just to look better!
But today i had to go and FUCK IT UP by fucking BINGING on chocolate and a packet of crisps and chocolate spread! merhieurhsjfd.
I cannot wait for my exams to be over and done with so i can start exercising more and focus on loosing some weight and looking nicer, also im trying to actually make an effort and look better for everyone else because im just a fat ugly mess and who on earth deserves to see such a disgrace like me! i am also doing this for myself so that i feel better.

Going to try and cut down on food, and swap shitty food for healthy food! yayayay - any tips are HIGHLY WELCOME!

Flash back

Just smelt what it smelt like in the priory and I feel like shit now

Fucking ed

.I wish that my ed didnt make me feel so guilty when I've eaten and doesn't let me know that my portions are too big at the time. I feel so fat and cant wait to join gym and loose some weight

:(

Just had a creamy cooler from costa and feel so fat and need to purge but I can't because I'm stuck on the coach :'(

Yay!

I hardly ate anything today at work! Eeeeep.

:/

Ffs your replacing me and moving onto a better life :( why can't I not be worth a piece of shit for once in my life?

:)

So far I'm smiley because I've been healthy today, had a lovely day with georgia and going to not eat loads at work

Tomorrow

Ill meet georgia, be in a happy mood, go to work without eating shit, and ill exercise/revise In an amongst. Positive thinking!

Nervous

Having a meal with kennedy today, I'm scared because I've never eaten in front of her and she'll think I'm a fat bitch :/ but hopefully we'll have a good catch up

:(

I'm going to get sacked

Ksicfu

I am so fat! :( just eaten loads today

Oh no...

Its starting again, I'm getting more and more conscious of my fat and its horrible. I wish I could cry my pathetic heart out. Hopefully ill start restricting again and loose weight.

Past

I wish I would stop living in the past, it keeps biting me on the arse because the reality that people change and move on upsets me deeply. I have to learn to look for the future... Maybe then ill fully recover and be happy and maybe even meet someone ( most likely not meeting someone as I'm an ugly munter :'( )

I'm wishing you'll ring me. Desperately!

:(

He looks so hot and its upsetting because he hates me