cut cut cut

I want to cut but I can't... Fuck

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eurgh

Talk to me, talk to me, I want to help you but I dont want to repel you which I think I already have. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Sorry im not good enough.

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paranoia

I can't fucking cope with this. My mind just won't rest up. I just imagine you describing your love for her as if I dont exist. That im nothing, nobody, im worthless. And I think you dont give a shit about me :/ I hope it's paranoia, she doesn't fucking help me though. My head is just fucked. Im sorry...
I arent good enough.

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let me go, set me straight, set me free!

I cannot deal with the unknown, its just fucking with my brains. Set me straight, set me free ffs, I need to know the truth.
Its so hard to not cut, I really just want to carve worthless into my leg but my mum will kill me :'( I am so worthless, I deserve to die .. The only thing stopping me is that I dont want to die a fat failure .
I can't stop tormenting myself until you just tell me out straight.
Set Me free ... Please :(

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:(

Thanks a lot for potentially fucking ruining things for me! You had to go fucking blab your mouth , when even you know its private stuff! Now everyone probably hates me even though I've done nothing wrong?! I just feel so insecure and fucking fed up of messing up things. Im sorry, sorry for trusting anyone because these days you can't trust no one!
I hope he speaks to me and I haven't fucked things up too much,  but then again you probably didn't care about me anyway :'(
Fuck fuck fuck

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im fine

Im fine im fine im fine im fine im fine. . . Oh wait, im tricking myself again, I AINT FUCKING FINE.

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fuck

I hate you bulimia, you're probably going to make me lose my job, you have made me fat, you have made me miserable. Im constantly paranoid about everything. I cannot help others now which means I'll be shit at my job when im older. I feel so worthless, no I AM worthless. I deserve to be locked away from society because im so much of a fucking horrible person the world doesn't need me. I think about cutting every day but I pussy out. Oh and I broke down at work yesterday,
First time I've cried properly in a year :'(

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worrying

I just want to fix you and make you all better but I dont seem to help you at all. ive become attached already to you and im going to get hurt because im not the one you want, you're still in love with her, im just not even second best. I just feel not good enough for anyone (especially not myself) oh and I am so fat compared to you :-(

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fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. That's my only feeling right now.

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im not her

I dont want to be a rebound girl. You're still hung up over her, I won't be able to replace her.

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eurgh

I thought I was fucking desperate but fucking hell, you just go for anyone who gives you attention. You really piss me off sometimes , sorry not sorry

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plan

6 small meals a day
No more binging
Only eat food I bring to work
Try stay on top of homework
Exercise to keep fit ( try get a set routine)
Dont count calories but be aware of them
Read more
WHICH SHOULD EQUAL HAPPINESS!

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