Please don't tell me I'm not fat because I am. I'm the heightest weight I've EVER been, I'm nearly in the fucking overweight BMI. I'm not curvy and I don't have a nice figure... I'm FAT... F A T. My legs are huge and my bum is saggy, my tummy sticks out so much it looks like I'm newly pregnant, my arms just wobble all the time and I have about 10 chins. Please don't try reassure me that I'm not fat because even if In your eyes I'm not fat, in my eyes I am and I can only see myself through my eyes so yes I Am fat.
I want Taylor swifts body. I just want to lose this 10kg that I've gained over the years. I wish I could be a bmi of 18 again... Yes it's not underweight but it's the bottom end of healthy and I know I'd be much happier at that weight.
The bloody problem is that I'm stuck in a horrible binge purge cycle which I have been stuck in for on and off 3 years! I'm too embaressed to go to the gym and exercise coz I don't want everyone laughing at my fat jiggling everywhere. I am stuck in the depressed cycle of eat, college,eat,sleep,eat, sleep and then restart. I don't know how I'm going to lose this weight without causing worry because to get to the weight I want to be, it will be a big difference in my looks.
EURGH WHY DID I HAVE TO GET SO FAT AND GROSS. I can cope with being ugly but being both fat AND ugly is just too much.
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